Are you building your resiliency muscle?

The topic of resiliency has been permeating our public discourse.  “There is so much changing in the way we do things,” said one executive to me recently.  “I’d like my team to develop the resiliency to handle it.”  Said another, “I need my leaders to lead with resiliency.  There is so much change that’s expected; they need to help our organization adapt and push on to make our organizational aspirations a reality.” 

Adam Grant, a highly regarded organizational psychologist and Warton Business School scholar, states “resilience as the speed and strength of your response to adversity. When you encounter a difficulty, a hardship, a challenge, how quickly and how effectively are you able to marshal strength and either overcome that challenge or persevere in the face of it?”

Seth Mattison, who has written and spoken extensively over the years, suggests that resiliency is a process of responding well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, and threats.  My son, when he inquired about my current writing topic, described resiliency perhaps most interestingly:  “It’s bouncebackability.  It seems like it’s the most important thing in your perseverance and success, isn’t it?” 

We prepare, we plan, we collaborate, and yet, “no amount of preparation or money in the bank can prevent the unexpected,” says Adam Grant.  Yet, personal resiliency is one of the skills that doesn’t come naturally for most of us.  Resiliency is hard to develop because it requires us to make conscious efforts to cope positively with difficult or unforeseen situations.  

Individuals who lack the ability to demonstrate resiliency tend to: fear change, deny issues or problems, fail to reach out to others for support or assistance, engage in negative self-talk and allow stress to overwhelm them to inaction.

Personal resiliency matters because it allows us to adapt to changing situations and circumstances, cope with adversity, and bounce back from setbacks and disappointments. Developing personal resilience enables us to create a more positive outlook on life, become more successful in our endeavors, and build greater self-esteem. Through resiliency, we are better able to handle stress, manage difficult emotions, and maintain our mental and physical health.  Since everyone has different life experiences, the way in which one person develops resiliency may not work for everyone else. Below are a few suggestions for deepening your own resiliency.  Don’t take them all on at once.  Select one or two and then create an intention for leveraging these the next time things go in a way you hadn’t planned. 

Start with a positive perspective.  A positive attitude is one of the foundations of resilience. I don’t know of anyone who was fired over a presentation that didn’t turn out perfectly.  See adversity as a chance to learn and do it differently next time.  Possessing an upbeat outlook on life helps us to bounce back from difficult situations.

Develop self-awareness. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you build resilience. Find ways to avoid areas where you aren’t effective.  You don’t have to be stellar at everything.  Trying to be so causes stress and anxiety. Are you someone who misses the details?  Ask a colleague to proofread your document.  Be realistic about what you can and can’t change about your skills and abilities.   

Practice self-care. Taking care of your physical and mental health matters. This includes getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising, taking time for hobbies, and finding ways to manage your stress. Learn relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation.  Set your watch at intervals to encourage you to get up and move.  Don’t eat at your desk.  Keep a journal of the kindness you extended to yourself. 

Connect with others regularly.  Loneliness is real.  The Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy, recently declared a public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection across the country.  Reconnect with old friends.  Put your phone down while you take time with family.  Find others who have a positive vibe and spend time with them; their energy can be contagious. 

Make bite-sized changes. What’s one thing you can do differently today?  New habits are hard to master.  You’re more likely to be successful with small changes first.  Setting realistic goals and taking small steps to achieve them can help you stay focused and motivated. Reflecting on not just “what” you did but “how you did it will allow you to learn and grow from the experience, deliberately adding new skills and mindsets to your capabilities. 

Personal resilience is the ability to adapt, cope, and grow in the face of adversity, stress, or change. It is the capacity to maintain strong mental health, as well as physical and emotional well-being, in the face of challenging or difficult situations. Resiliency involves an individual’s ability to cope with daily stressors, rebound from difficult experiences, and manage emotions in a healthy, adaptive manner. It’s bouncebackability.  What strategies are you employing to become more resilient?